The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
