Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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