Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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