U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
