So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
