from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
