The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
vagina is talking i cant
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
