so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
