C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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