hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Randomize
