girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
