I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
