I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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