dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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