She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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