So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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