I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
