Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Ambien. No doubt about it.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize