just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
