Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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