I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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