I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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