so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
