lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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