My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
