i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize