I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize