no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Holy sore nipples Batman
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
