evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
