I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
vagina is talking i cant
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize