wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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