i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
