he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize