The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
