No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
