So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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