I could have mohawked her pubes.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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