this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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