Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
