this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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