Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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