i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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