is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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