having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
