I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
