I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
