we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
the day after is always just damage control
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
cat food counts as protein by the way
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
