I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
