dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We just shotgunned beers for America
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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