Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize