She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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