the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
