If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
