the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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