The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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