More tranny stories later!
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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