how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
