If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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