Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
