doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize