I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
