I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
