Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
