Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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