i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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