i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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