ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
