You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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