Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
