Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize