we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
