I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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