btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
