he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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