i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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