new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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