Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
It's Friday. Sex?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize